A Long Sojourn

So I ran out of salad dressing and had to use one of the roomies' ranch dressing. Meanwhile I was drinking some of the wine that Brian so graciously gave me last weekend. When I went to take a drink from the wine glass though, memories of the eighth grade were resurrected. Not that I was drinking wine or had run out of salad dressing in the eighth grade, but that having greasy ranch lips makes your glass look nasty. Before our winter ball a group of my friends, along with our dates, went to a local winery for dinner. There we were served sparking apple cider in wine glasses. This is where I remember seeing my greasy ranch lip prints on the glass and thinking that I had done something wrong. I wasn't sure if my parents had failed to teach me some basic etiquette (particularly considering the only alcohol I saw my parents drinking was Miller Genuine Draft or Kahlua). 

Speaking of sparking apple cider. I specifically remember one new years (the one time of the year my parents generally go out socially), my sister and I made Rice-a-Roni and had a few bottles of sparking apple cider to drink. In fact, I drank two just by myself. That stuff is some tasty juice! Yet by the time my parents got home I was puking just short of the sink in my bedroom (my sister and I shared a bathroom but had our own sinks). I'm sure my mom thought I had been drinking alcohol for the first time in my life that night. 

And yes, I did save Pepsi Points one summer to buy a pair of Tevas, now known as mandals. They were actually pretty sweet, with a Pepsi logo on the back. If you're from the Pacific Northwest you understand the utility of such sandals, particularly in rivers. I also ordered a Pepsi beach chair (see above) and a CD case. I guess my family was REALLY into Pepsi that summer. 

Beer, Beans and Bums

I have really had some poor service in restaurants lately - and it's not my group that gets poor service - its just myself. At The Field on Wednesday the waitress forgot my drink not once, but twice. At Shakespeare's the waitress forgot my water not once, but twice - and the second time I saw her give it away to another table because she couldn't remember what table it went to. 

Tim O'Leary and I arrived at the pub at 6am - to get seats for the FA Cup final, which started at 7am. They couldn't even serve alcohol until 8am, so all the 'football' fans had to wait. Meanwhile the kitchen opened at 7am so we ordered breakfast. Keeping in line with my trying to order new things, I got the 'baked beans on toast,' which was just precisely that. They dumped an entire can of baked beans on two slices of toast - and it wasn't bad at all. Kind of like this man, who was sitting in a bathtub full of baked beans. 

On a similar note, I know that I keep track of all of the particularly notable 'downtown crazies.' However, I have begun to wonder and theorize why transients are so prevalent in the downtown sectors of cities. Is it because its mainly an industrial or business center and people aren't around at night? As in, people would mind if a bum was loitering around their suburban neighborhood. Personally I would want to be at the beach, where at least I could sleep in the sand and wake up on the beach. 

Another thing I want to add to my mission to the homeless population: headphones. I often notice some of them have some kind of boombox or speaker system. Not that I don't think it is awesome that they bump their music, but I think they would get more respect if they had some headphones. So far this means I need to start collecting and distributing headphones and sunscreen. 

The Northwest Passage

Well although I passed the bar exam (one of the biggest events in my life), I remained relatively sober and non-reckless - with my graduation looming the next morning. This was important because I think the last time I really embarrassed my family (whole drunk-diaper thing). If anyone was wondering what I did upon receipt of the degree, I did another jump kick. Nonetheless, I had a great weekend and was very happy that my family was in town. 

The Padres game lasted 16 innings on Saturday night, making that yet another extra-inning game that I have attended. I must be good luck for people wanting to get their money's worth and not wanting to be able to drink for most of the game. On Sunday night we patronized Pizza Bella in Old Town (the above image was in the image results - not sure what E.T. has to do with the pizza place). Anyways I enjoyed the restaurant and the food was good. We ordered the 'Sigma Chi' pizza. No, Eric, I did not ask why it was named that. It was a hybrid of a good and bad pizza - meat lovers w/ marinara base vs. primavera veggies w/ pesto base. I will go ahead and recommend trying it. 

Before my family left on Monday, I took them for a walk down the Embarcadero. I have been running along the 'baywalk' for a few months but have never really had the time to enjoy the scenery. I did notice the presence of a lot of rubbish/trash washed up on the shore and hope to arrange a embarcadero clean-up. Most notable of our walk was the gigantic statue of a sailor and, presumably, his wife dipping/kissing (see above). And FYI you could not see up her dress - it was all molded together. Most creepy was the Bob Hope tribute, where lifelike statues stood in the middle of a park square. 

From Russia With Love

Have you ever noticed those 'baby on board' signs? I have never understood exactly what their purpose was. Am I not supposed to not hit you as hard? Drive as crazy around you? Flip you off and yell vulgarities at you? Is your baby sleeping and I should turn down my music and not honk? I don't think any driver, reasonable or not, would change their driving habits when they suddenly see such a sign.


My new idea that I would like to get spread around is for everyone to 'retire' rather than 'quit.' I actually came up with this idea before Brett Favre has made a living off of it. No matter what age you are, you can retire. Who says retiring means having enough money to live for the rest of your life? Don't most retired people still make investments and still have income? All I'm saying is instead of quitting your next job, tell them you are retiring. You can always come out of retirement, just like this youngster.


Finally, I saw Star Trek last night - which was awesome. There were sad moments and funny moments and lots of action. The actors were great too. Although it is enjoyable for any denomination of trekkie, I suggest at least having an basic understanding of the main characters (Kirk, Spock, Bones, Ohura, Sulu, Checkov, and Scotty). As I left the theatre, I saw the trolley pulling up two blocks away. Not wanting to wait another 30 minutes, I did a full out spring to successfully catch it.

When I got off the Trolley at my stop, I saw an old man standing at the edge of the platform (mind you this was near midnight on a Monday night). He asked me, with a thick Russian accent (like Checkov's) where the Denny's was. Fortunately I knew that the weird Denny's 'China Camp' was just down the street (probably 1.5 miles away actually). Nonetheless I told him where it was, to which he further inquired, "is it near a strip club?" I answered in the affirmative, as I knew that Pure Platinum was on the way.

Great Expectations

See No Evil
On my bike ride back yesterday I rode past the Gator by the Bay at Spanish Landing. It actually looked like a lot of fun with cajun food and a ton of live music. Maybe I will go next year. However, the most interesting thing I saw was just a few blocks past the event. I saw a camouflaged bum doing the MC Hammer 'magic knees' dance. This is the closest video I could find.



Hear No Evil
Earlier in the day I had stopped at the Embarcadero to read my current book (Anthem by Ayn Rand). I stopped by a bench near a dock to enjoy the sun and any fly-overs from the Red Bull Air Race. Yet again, the most interesting thing that happened was the product of nearby passerby-ers. I noticed a couple that had suddenly stopped right in front of me. From the way the man was talking (and after looking at her ring finger), I knew they weren't married. The man had been talking about some fancy restaurant he always goes to. Meanwhile, they had walked directly behind where I was sitting and the conversation got weird. The man said something to the extent of the following: "Well the gentlemanly thing for me to do would be to walk you to your car and open your door. But your car is so far away. So you could get into my car and I would tie you up and ductape you." I'm sure he was trying to be funny, but with a complete stranger nearby, they are lucky I didn't call the police.

Do No Evil
On Friday night I caught a cab with Jordon and Mat. We found one right outside of Jordon's place, at 14th and Broadway. We told the driver that we were going to 10th and J. Yet when we got to 10th Street, the driver didn't turn. Mat pointed this out, to which the driver replied, "It's better to walk." We shrugged off this first error as a mistake. Yet when he passed 8th street (can only turn left on even streets) we began to get worried. Mat asked if the driver would take a dollar off the fare for the mistake, to which the driver replied, "You can't turn down 10th street." The driver turned right (the opposite direction from where we were going) on 7th street and stayed in the middle lane. Both Mat and Jordon told the driver that we needed to turn right and go down either 8th or 10th street. The driver remained in the middle lane with no turn signal or intention of turning right. At that moment we told him we are getting out and not paying - both of which we did.

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

While waiting in the 90-minute line to get into Freds (Old Town) last night, I came up with a new idea and remembered an old idea of mine.

The first is a kind-of fool proof waiting line (queue for the Brits and Irish). Basically rather than using ropes or letting people form lines themselves, there will be shoulder-high barriers that people have to file into. This will prevent any kind of cutting or spot-in-line saving. I realized that there does have to be some escape for emergency, bathroom and give-up-on waiting situations. For a pertinent example of an emergency situation, see my Brussels, Belgium post about the entire line getting maced. To resolve this dilemma, I came up with an exit system. It will be like the exit system to certain parking lots, where they have the spikes that you can run over, but can't back over or enter in the opposite direction. The exits in my line system will be similar in that people can freely exit, but they cannot return.


The old idea that I remembered spawned off of a Vista article that I actually wrote during undergrad. In that article I told the story of my friend's purchasing a 1982 Ford Granada (pictured above - pretty sweet ass sweet!). For $100, my friend's older brother bought the beast. A racing stripe was painted down the middle, a 'sunroof' was cut out and the skull of a steer was put on the front of the vehicle. The best part though, was that the car would backfire whenever you stepped on the gas. We scared the crap out of people. Unfortunately the Granada died when a friend drove it into the mountains, where it now rests in peace.

As we all have learned to despise public safety and similar officers, in my high school it was no different. The idea that I came up with, I will so humbly admit, was ingenious (although it never was completed). My plan was to purchase a car for $100, much like the granada. I was going to drive the car into the head public safety officer's parking space, then remove the wheels and fill the car with sandbags. The goal was to make the car immobile, that is, untowable. I couldn't imagine the look on the head security officer's face and the effort it would have taken to get the car out of his spot. If only I was so bold!

I Like Turtles

From the very first time I smelled Old Spice Pure Sport, I knew I would use no other deodorant. It just smells amazing. Fortunately I have the armpit hair of a 12-year-old boy so I don't have to worry about anti-perspirant.  For shampoo, face wash, toothpaste, etc. - I always change it up. I am never satisfied with a single brand and product. However, I think Old Spice has done it again. The Old Spice body wash is pretty amazing - and I don't feel like a woman using some non-masculine product. For that matter, how was I tricked into using a luffa for an entire year before realizing I was breaking some man laws?

Normally I would add this character to the 'Downtown Crazies' section to the right, but I think I need more space to adequately describe this story. So a few days a week I run from my house, around the airport and then along the bay (about 4 or 5 miles). Normally on the PCH/Airport intersection  (across from the most expensive Shell station in town), there is a a man who sits on a stool and flags traffic to make it safer for pedestrians to cross. What is interesting about this man is that he is not commissioned by anyone to do it - he just does it. 

But yesterday there was another individual. As I was approaching him, he made a motion like he was throwing (imaginary) jacks (see picture above) into the intersection.  Either that or he was casting a spell upon all of the vehicles. He gave me enough room to run by, but he gave me a weird look. I was worried he would throw some 'jacks' at me. On my way back I could see him from a distance. This time his back was to the intersection, but his arm was straight out and his fist was clenched. I was worried he would either punch me or throw something at me. And I was right. As I ran by he made the throwing/casting motion directly in front of me. If I wasn't in the middle of a run I would perhaps have role-played with him. 

My household has now spent $55 on lighting for our Halfway to Halloween party. We have exchanged all of the lights in the house with either black or orange lights. Should be interesting to see what it looks like in the dark. We set up tiki torches all along the walkway and front yard. As for decorations, we were limited to what people had in their possession - as all the party stores did not have anything in stock (considering it is May). My only contribution was my George W. Bush mask that kind of looks like a jack-o-lantern. Either way, it should be a blast.