The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

While waiting in the 90-minute line to get into Freds (Old Town) last night, I came up with a new idea and remembered an old idea of mine.

The first is a kind-of fool proof waiting line (queue for the Brits and Irish). Basically rather than using ropes or letting people form lines themselves, there will be shoulder-high barriers that people have to file into. This will prevent any kind of cutting or spot-in-line saving. I realized that there does have to be some escape for emergency, bathroom and give-up-on waiting situations. For a pertinent example of an emergency situation, see my Brussels, Belgium post about the entire line getting maced. To resolve this dilemma, I came up with an exit system. It will be like the exit system to certain parking lots, where they have the spikes that you can run over, but can't back over or enter in the opposite direction. The exits in my line system will be similar in that people can freely exit, but they cannot return.


The old idea that I remembered spawned off of a Vista article that I actually wrote during undergrad. In that article I told the story of my friend's purchasing a 1982 Ford Granada (pictured above - pretty sweet ass sweet!). For $100, my friend's older brother bought the beast. A racing stripe was painted down the middle, a 'sunroof' was cut out and the skull of a steer was put on the front of the vehicle. The best part though, was that the car would backfire whenever you stepped on the gas. We scared the crap out of people. Unfortunately the Granada died when a friend drove it into the mountains, where it now rests in peace.

As we all have learned to despise public safety and similar officers, in my high school it was no different. The idea that I came up with, I will so humbly admit, was ingenious (although it never was completed). My plan was to purchase a car for $100, much like the granada. I was going to drive the car into the head public safety officer's parking space, then remove the wheels and fill the car with sandbags. The goal was to make the car immobile, that is, untowable. I couldn't imagine the look on the head security officer's face and the effort it would have taken to get the car out of his spot. If only I was so bold!