There and Back Again (A Hobbit's Tale)

My mom loaded me up with 'duplicate' groceries that she had and those items ended up being the story of the day. The sun was rising as I crossed the state border, and with it held a long day ahead of me. 

Just past the actual border, there is an inspection station on the California side. (An interesting note here is the location of the federal inspection station nearly 40 miles north of the Mexican border. I never understood why it was so far away.) The state border patrol normally asks you if you are bringing in any fruit products into California, which you must dispose of. My parents always used to say, 'just these two' - referring to my sister and I. Today, however, would be different. As I approached I grabbed the banana peel that remained after my breakfast and held it out the window. The border patrol agent though, was interested in the rest of my groceries. She peer into my window and saw a package of sugar my mom had sent with me - and asked if I could show her the contents. Now I'm not sure if there is much trafficking of cocaine via the state of Oregon, but this seemed strange. After she tasted the sweet (literally) powder, she let me be on my way. 

I fueled up in a fabled city: Yreka. My favorite thing about it is the fact that Yreka Bakery backwards is Yreka Bakery. A palindrome. My least favorite memory of the city is me scoring an own goal in a soccer game. But hey, I was not about to let the girl on the other team (only one I have ever played against) score on our team. I guess I would rather score on my own team then let her have the glory. 

About 300 miles north of Los Angeles, the holiday traffic kicked in. When my gas light came on I was looking forward to a refueling-pee-meal break. I did not expect the exit to be so crowded though. There was a line at all three of the gas stations, so I pulled into the restaurant/Chevron to take a pee and grab something to eat. Further to my surprise, there was a lengthy line to use the bathroom. Around 10 guys in the men's line and around 30 for the women's line. By the time I was done and looking to fill up, the Chevron system had gone down, sending the fuel-less mass in a panic to get to the other stations. I survived though. 

After a long delay in LA traffic, I reached Orange County where I stopped for a bite to eat with my friend Erick, who works at Saks Fifth Avenue in South Coast Plaza. I wasn't sure if they were going to let me into the store, as I was in my adidas top, sweats and Nikes. I found him though and we headed over to Claim Jumpers. By the way do not order their sausage and pepperoni pizza, as it is just a greasy mess. Back at Saks, Erick handed me a few items that I had lent him and I proceeding to do some customer terrorizing. Perhaps it was the 14 hours that I had just spent in a car that augmented my disdain for overpriced merchandise. I pointed out how ridiculous the price of some Converse shoes were ($95-100), especially compared to my recent $30 purchase of similar ones at Factory Brand Shoes. As I pointed this out, the few customers who overheard me soon put down their selections and walked away. Erick wanted to show me some Louis Vuitton items he wanted - no kidding. In the mini-Louis store in Saks I went on a rant about how terrible their products were and how the leather they used was inferior to many brands. The employees were disgusted. 

When I arrived at home I grabbed the groceries to take into the house. However, I dropped one of the sacks and heard a bottle break. A large bottle of Worcestershire sauce. And it ruined my best bag of groceries. All I was left with was the flour, sugar and canned items. I was so exhausted at this point that I just threw all of the contaminated good into the street. Now it looks like a body was dragged out of my car. It was a long day.